An annual holiday letter to sum up the year

SATTIN SCRIBBLES

November 21^th, 2021                               

Oh, the wonderful things Mr. Sattin can do

He can hide his wallet

And his cell phone too

Mr. Sattin can do it how about you?

He can cut like a pro

Mr. Sattin can chop

How about you can you go chop chop?

Boom boom boom Rob is a wonder

Boom boom boom even when he can’t remember

He cuts kabocha slit slit slat

And it’s very, very hard to cut a squash like that 

He can run like the wind

Sprint sprint sprint sprint

He can tend the garden

Sage, thyme and mint

He can’t read time

He can’t choose a club

He can’t remember some words

He can be quite a bug

He can love, he can hug,

he can kiss, he can feel

He can sleep all night

While the roommates steal

Alzheimer’s is the thief

That much is true

But there are still

So many wonderful things to do

His life will be brief

We don’t know how long

We will love him so much

And try to be strong.

2021 brought us many challenges, not for the faint of heart. Menopause and Alzheimer’s are unlikely bedfellows for sure. Rob forgot how to make my morning tea, a ritual he has performed for years and he also forgot that we were married. Also, our newly installed bathroom sprung a leak and had to ripped out and redone. This gave fodder for many shadow gifts and opportunities to be blessed. We renewed our vows on Oct 3^rd, our 34^th wedding anniversary, the boys stepped up with amazing alacrity into the role of caring for their Dad and Nonna Biba moved in.

The vow renewal was a spectacular event. We were surrounded by friends and family and our amazing sons walked me down the aisle to a very emotional, tearful Rob and we stood before God and renewed our vows with an understanding that 21-year-old Lesley had no concept of back in 1987. Afterwards we released 34 white doves to honor the event, thanks to a very dear friend, and cut a proper, South African wedding cake made by Aunty Ann. It was a fitting tribute to the life that we have built together and are now slowly losing one memory at a time. I am so very grateful to everyone that helped put this together and the people that were able to be present with us. We “honeymooned” for one night in nearby Palm Springs where we were “visited by a dwarf with a shady agenda” (hallucination). Rob also had an altercation with the man in the mirror who he thought was an intruder. I decided that honeymooning was overrated and rushed home to safety!!! I am sad that our traveling days are over; it is a crippling loss as we loved visiting new places and always had a trip in the pipeline. Moving forward, routine and the same scenery are our friends and coping mechanism.

We did, however, start the year in Mexico which was truly a fitting culmination to our travels together. Rob’s sister flew us and her parents to their home in Cabo where we were treated to an amazing birthday celebration for Rob with Chef Luigi brought in to cook for us. My birthday, just after Christmas, was a girl’s day at the spa with massages and mojitos and much mirth!

The boys just recently moved into a condo close by. Ben is working in customer support and continues to date his wonderful girlfriend Julia. He is so very kind to Rob and takes him whenever I ask. We had a particularly bad week a month or so ago when I literally could not leave him for a minute and Ben took him every day, that week, in his off time so that I could get a break.

Jake completed his butcher internship and transitioned into a meat company where he is working inside sales support with an eye on sales. I think it’s a great choice for him and a company that he can really do well in. It is unfortunate that the skill of butchery is such a low paying field, but the experience he got there is invaluable in his new position. He too, will grab his Dad and run errands for me or take R for breakfast etc. This is the true gift of this disease; my boys have become caring, kind men. Jake continues to date his love Jenna and it makes a mama’s heart happy to see her kids flourishing.

We had a family meeting earlier in the year as the wheels were officially falling off. Rob had decided that two of the roommates were stealing, one of them being so bold as to come into our room at night to thieve his wallet (later found in a poo bag, in a sock, under the mattress, hidden by Rob himself) He was becoming increasingly aggressive and could no longer be left unattended. I was trying to work, albeit from home, and his hovering, shadowing agitation was pushing me past breaking point. Nonna Biba who is Rob’s sister’s mother in law agreed to move in with us and help. This woman is 85 years young and has proven to be a game changer. She has known Rob longer than I and is so kind and gentle with him and utterly amazed at his ability to eat a whole bunch of bananas in a day. She and Rob accompany me to yoga and they go for coffee and fruit shopping while I regain my sanity in the studio. She is truly God sent and she has even brought me tea in bed when we have had a particularly trying night (been dealing with his insomnia to add insult to injury). We have been working on balancing his changing brain with medications to ease his anxiety which ultimately causes all the behaviors and as of writing this we are in a calm phase so appreciating every minute.     

Monkey Joe continues to thrive although finding stock is really challenging as it is all sitting offshore at Long Beach waiting to come in for distribution. We managed to get through Covid somewhat unscathed, our losses are paltry compared to some companies that lost everything. One benefit, for sure, is the universal acceptance of Zooming from home. This has elevated the “at home office” and widened the business landscape which allows me to remain home with Rob for much longer than would otherwise be possible.

I am so incredibly grateful to still be in our home, to be surrounded by friends and family and to have just a little bit more time with Rob. We think we have control of our lives but that is tenuous at best and only God knows how our thread weaves into His tapestry.

May your 2022 be the best year ever

Love Rob, Les, Ben and Jake (and Karina, Nata, Lucy and Nicky of course)