Another day dawns and I wake up in the same limbo land, waiting for my husband to die. There is no miracle coming, no progression in the opposite direction, only one ending. It’s like the slow pulling off of a Band-Aid, inch by inch as his body uses up all it’s reserves. His muscles are …
Obstreperous is the word I shall use to describe him today. I feel like I need eyes in the back of my head. I would like to believe that it is all a perfectly designed plan to make me lose my mind and scurry, gibbering, to the nearest institution that will have me. (It may …
Intimacy begins when you first meet a person, you look into their eyes, touch them and begin to share the very superficial part of yourself with them. Sometimes you find an immediate accord and you open up a little more, sharing a little deeper, finding commonalities, and just glancing at their morals hoping that they …
We are surrounding him with love as we walk him home. R is in a coma and will soon complete his journey. He is peaceful and calm in his earthly home filled with friends and family coming to wish him Bon Voyage. His heart is strong and he will decide when he is ready.
Fast and furious is how Rob has always rolled. Big ideas, big spender, fast cars and huge big heart. We are hurtling toward the inevitable at light speed, and my heart cannot catch up with my brain that is frantically trying to adjust and pivot as our situation changes hourly it seems. We are on …
So last night Rob slept from 5pm to 8.30am and when he woke up he had forgotten how to walk and sit down. Took me half an hour to get him to the bathroom and then the troops came in in the form of Silvano and Jake to get him down the stairs. He was …
I don’t even know where to begin describing today. It started at 4am, then 6, then 8 then 10 with multiple doses and really no effect. Agitation was high and then eased off as meds kicked in and then ramped up again and again and again. Cara explained that the ever elusive sweet spot, where …
So last night my “sleeper canine assassin” status was upgraded and so upon waking it was immediately apparent to my love that I was to be regarded with intense suspicion. Fortunately, I was able to give him the “anti-assassin” meds before he was fully alert but he refused the seizure meds which are sprinkled over …
Meds are keeping the agitation and hopefully seizures at bay. He is restless though and drifts through the house leaving a swathe of evidence of his passing. I came home from yoga today to find the garage door half up and my Monkey Joe doormat placed vertically to welcome me. I have suspended a …
I woke this morning in tears, the weight of another day like yesterday just too much to bear. I wanted to go to church and we had been invited to Jake’s gf’s family for lunch and I just wasn’t sure I had the necessary wrangling power. Our angel Cara texted in the midst of my …
Read more “Who would have known it was the last time we would attend church together?”