So 5am this morning R had a massive grand mal seizure. It lasted over a minute, and was followed by a long period of time during which he couldn’t catch his breath. He was trying to drag air into his lungs, kind of like when you get the wind knocked out of you. It was the most frightening thing I’ve ever experienced. I did not know that the muscle spasms of a seizure squeeze the lungs preventing breathing and causing this phenomenon and I thought he was dying. I have had no illusions about the prognosis of this disease and ache every day watching him suffer it’s indignities and yet all I could think was “please not yet, I’m not ready.” Hospice came and they are truly a godsend. He has spent the day sleeping off the after effects of the seizure with a little help from the “emergency box.” I am so very grateful that it did not happen two minutes prior when he was in the bathroom or an hour later, when we would have been on the freeway. He was in bed and safe where he has remained unaware of all the love and prayers from our wonderful circle. (This pic was taken yesterday walking the doggies – how surreal is that?)