Limbo

Another day dawns and I wake up in the same limbo land, waiting for my husband to die. There is no miracle coming, no progression in the opposite direction, only one ending. It’s like the slow pulling off of a Band-Aid, inch by inch as his body uses up all it’s reserves. His muscles are deteriorating, his blood being drawn to his core to keep his heart beating and his breath moving his chest. I watch him slowly changing in front of me his face becoming sunken, his eyes no longer fluttering, his hands that I knew so well changing shape and I weep some more. I pray to God to take him, please God take him I cannot maintain this same intensity of grief lest my heart break in two. But perhaps as each hour passes somehow he is easing me into the unimaginable life without him.