So Cara, our assigned hospice nurse came over yesterday. A wonderful friend who runs a board and care facility and facilitates an early onset Alzheimer’s support group I belong to, recommended Cara and after one phone call, I could already see why. Finally there is someone speaking my language. She asked what our goals and expectations are. My biggest concern since Rob was diagnosed has been “what if he gets out of control”? My understanding was that if he got to a place where we and or he was in danger, then 911-5150-placement was the chosen path. My desire is to keep him home where he is loved and we can surround him and care for him. While I am convinced that the undesirable path is often the only path for many families; for the first time I feel that between Cara and I and my wonderful circle of family and friends, keeping him home is a definite possibility. A traditional doctor, does everything in their power to prolong life. Drug side effects are weighed carefully against their benefits and caution is the name of the game. Preservation and enhancement of cognition are paramount. Hospice however aggressively treats discomfort with the number one goal being comfort, in all realms, physical, spiritual and emotional. Agitation is not comfortable; fear is horrible and anxiety, confusion and paranoia are to be avoided wherever possible. There is no grin and bear it so you don’t develop a tolerance for meds or an addiction God forbid. If our technology is so good at keeping us all alive, then it must also know how to help us die with as much ease as we can offer. If this means you take a lovely nap, then nap you shall. Hospice does not hasten, but neither does it prolong. Cara is a guide that has walked alongside many families in this position. She knows what is ahead and will help us. I have a box of supplies and a plan, for many eventualities and I feel prepared as best as I can be.